Monday, August 6, 2007

To Be or not to Be..

Dont know why this post started in a bright manner and ended differently..
Forgive me all..
I was trying to remember how many things I have wanted to become when I grow up, the list is so long..
First I was in the mood to become a teacher.. we had this big Kantor in our room with such wide doors, it was dark brown.. which was very suitable to be the black board or green board , whatever, I used to stand in front of the Kantor, holding broken pieces of colored chalk in my hand (I Loved colored chalk at the time, I never got enough from looking at the beautiful colors, pale blue, pale green, and pale orange..).. just like my teacher used to do, and I start talking to my pupils who are supposed to be sitting in lines in front of me.. I would go on, reading them the Qiraa lesson, or the Hisab lesson.. whatever I liked.. and every now and then I would turn to write something over the brown doors of the Kantor , to explain something to my pupils.. the good thing was, it was the chalk was so easily removed off by just a piece of Kleenex.. so mom didn’t have to find out..
Later, I decided that I want to be a Reyadha teacher.. (maybe that was when Set Methal, eneterd our lives and hearts) .. I would go out in the sunny garden..stand balanced over the edge of the Flower bed that decorated our Tarma in front of the Hall, and start doing exercise to show my pupils who were standing in lines in front of me down in the garden how to bend down,and up again, how to do (Aala, Thanee, Takhassor, Madd.. ) .. my pupils were always Very quiet and followed whatever directions I gave.. but of course I had to reprimand the undisciplined ones.. though I was always extremely nice with them..
Then, I decided that I am in no mood for teaching. . I'm in the mood for adventure, I used to climb the stairs up to the roof in Bet Bebe el Hijjiya, turn the old looking key in the hole, and go out under the burning sun , then again climb the stairs to the 2nd roof , and up there I would start saving all the captured ones , untie their ropes, set them free, give them a drink of water..
And strangely, all the time I would be running.. running to save them, running to escape from the evil capturers (I wonder who were they in my childish mind at the time!)..
Finally , I decided that my real thing is to become a princess… Yes.. that was really the best thing I want to be.. (like u get to choose !!).. I used to pull the Charchaf off my bed, wrap it around my small waist, put on all the colored plastic bracelets and necklaces I had, and walk around with my Looong gown , moving gracefully like a princess.. bowing to the crowds..
Of course, that was all during the day hours , when my mom would be at work .. I would stand in front of the tall Stand Lamp (don't know really what is it called) , it had 3 or 4 arms all flexible to adjust them as desired, it was taller than me, so I would stand and try to bend one arm down , like I would be adjusting the Microphone, so as to sing a song, or maybe it was a speech!!.. wow.. that was really the best part.. the good thing was that mom was never there to have a say in the matter.. so I was free to dream as I please, act as I please..be whoever I want.. it was always so real to live . it was ever so easy to pretend.. and it was So much fun..
It was like having a magic wand .. I would choose What to be, and Where to be.. and would always come true at once..
Can I do that now?? Can I ever do that once more?? I had only to decide what my next dream is, and it will Definitely come true..
Can my dream of now ever come true?? How much longer am I to wait ?
Anyone knows?? .. how much longer of feeling the ever killing Ghurba?? How much longer before I lay my tired head down , and rest??
Anyone knows??..

15 comments:

Little Penguin said...

Princess Yasmin,

your dreams are a whisper away from coming true..

never lose hope.. it's not just a bed-sheet that you once wrapped around your size 2 waist, it's an enduring conviction in yourself and in your life.. it's a statement.. I wrap this around because whilst I am not a real princess, I am.. I'm just different.. I'm a special princess.

Never lose hope, Yasmin.. your post was magical.. looks like you've given in to the Harry Potter craze..

Regards,

Yasmin (Blanche) said...

Dear little Penguin,,
a thousand thanks for yr soo sweet words..yes i am going through some hard time..gloomy and all.. ye words as always held hope and special brightness..
Inshallah Allah yesmaa mennak.. ameen.. i hope alllll your dreams come true too, all the dear good, (sodogh irakiyeen), may Allah make their dreams come true..
Alf Taheyya..

3eeraqimedic said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yasmin (Blanche) said...

3eeraqi Medic,
Im so glad u liked it..
yr words cheered me up..
many thanks..

A&Eiraqi said...

Yasmin
Being princess is very nice in a way, and probably exausting or boaring in another way.

I would suggest being what I am, but doing more.

It's great to have a dream, even if you don't get it true, be proud that you have it as a dream; one day it'll come true.

Regards

Yasmin (Blanche) said...

dear a&eiraqi,
i only dreamed of being a princess when i was v little.. at that time it resembled all the beautiful things in my childish mind..
regards..

3eeraqimedic said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yasmin (Blanche) said...

Dear 3eeraqi Medic,
Thank u for yr kind asking ab me..
yes, it is a difficult time for me.. apart from the daily (Homoom el Ghurba) im taking an extremely difficult course wich is taking all my time..
i miss u all..

3eeraqimedic said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BOOKISH said...

Ramadan kareem.

Yasmin (Blanche) said...

dear Bookish,

Allaho Akram.. inshallah this ramadan will bring us all peace of mind and bring some joy to our wounded iraq.. all of us outside pray for u inside.. Allah Kareem..

Little Penguin said...

kokookhtee.. wein ukhtee.. bil 7illa.. wishtaakul... bagillaaa.. wish tishraab.. mai allah.. wein etnaaam.. barth allah..

kokookhtee.. wein ukhtee?

where are you yasmin?

Yasmin (Blanche) said...

Dear Little Penguin,
What a sweeeet way to start the day.. Thank u for reminding me of Kokokhtee.. i love it .. so innocent.. and so iraqi..
how v kind of u to ask about me.. im just busy with a course thats taking all my time, add to that Ramadan and seyam..
hope i will b back really soon.. i miss u all and miss my blog..
take care and Allah yetqabbal el taat..
thanks again..

H.N.K said...

Yasameen, you are fantastic girl.
You had a dream to be a princes!
Oh my God.

I didn't have such a huge dream but I was playing your game. and I used to dance with my toys. I used فرشه الشعرas a microphone :)

I had a dream to be a teacher when I was 6 but after 12, I decided to be a pharmacist and till now I am working on my dream.This year was my last year at school. I got 97.6 and of course this is enough average to enter pharmacy college.
But I was shock last week when I heard that we have to do an exam. they called it " امتحان كفاءه".
I am feeling horrible,I am not able to study anymore.It's 1:38 at night I didn't go to bed till now, instead, I was surfing on the net and I found this beauttiful blog.

I will make another visit yasameen:)

Yasmin (Blanche) said...

Dear H.N.K ,
Thank u for yr Sweeet comment..i really enjoyed reading it..
it made me a nice start of the day thanks..
Im so glad u like the blog.. please keep coming..
we all have dreams..dnt feel bad about yr exams.. think of it as a challenge, (i keep taking exams up til now) .. im certain u will do well inshallh.. i hope u get the best mark ever in yr Kafaa..and make yr dream come true.. ameen..
Please keep visiting ..